“What, ME worry?”
Patton Oswalt is a genius.
Now I don’t say this as some sycophantic fan, or online devotee. To be honest with you, I can count on one hand how many of his comedy specials I’ve seen and I can count the number of movies/TV shows he’s been on using an abacus (don’t ask me to demonstrate, abacus time is private time), the point is, I appreciate the guy without being overly biased.
One of the things that I genuinely appreciate is his ability to expose hypocrisy via Twitter using very intelligent and awfully subversive jokes…something I can absolutely get behind. Well today was certainly no different, as Oswalt decided, as he occasionally does, to do a sort of social experiement. It started with a simple tweet:
Oops. Just deleted my last Tweet. & would like to apologize to seniors & sufferers of Lyme disease. I was out of bounds.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 7, 2014
It was quickly followed with the following tweets:
Yikes. Had to delete another Tweet. I crossed a line on that one. Also, I thought 12 YEARS A SLAVE and THE BUTLER were brilliant.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 7, 2014
PLEASE disregard last Tweet. Already deleted. Transphobia is hurtful, and I'm a big fan of HEDWIG & THE ANGRY INCH.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 7, 2014
Forgive me. Previous Tweet deleted. Sorry. Yes, we all know what "grape", "ape", "tape" & "cape" rhyme with. I'm an asshole.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 7, 2014
You get the point, it went on for a bit from there. Naturally, Twitter was confused:
@pattonoswalt Don't people have a reasonable right to be offended by rape jokes? Not sure what you're trying to defend here.
— tyler (@coolsexguy) May 7, 2014
@NLacle @coolsexguy @pattonoswalt I don't know Patton's angle here and I'm waiting to find out
— big titty LARPer (@rachelmillman) May 7, 2014
@pattonoswalt Did you just anger people with non-existent jokes? Impressive.
— Andrew J. Hamilton (@StillCountCrows) May 7, 2014
And then it turned into rage, because even though there was no actual joke, the bare assumption that there MIGHT have been a joke, or that Oswalt was possibly making fun of people’s self-righteous offensive at such jokes cause people to turn inside out on themselves.
@pattonoswalt wouldn't it ever feel so great to just wrap @pattonoswalt in plastic wrap and just cut out his fucking heart
— IG: ß♪♦§╦Σδ (@David_Cummings) May 7, 2014
aedison”>@aedison @pattonoswalt @coolsexguy DELETE IT BUT KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE THATS HELPFUL AND NOT A COWARD MOVE AT ALL
— Seth (@lsdbomb) May 7, 2014
And then, as is usually the case, someone who might fit the demographic of someone offended by Oswalt’s non-jokes stepped up to teach everyone why he’s part of the evil patriarchy and how any offense at his “trolling” is somehow actually justified, thereby flipping the world inside out with indignation. Oh, and she made a handy chart:
Of course, by this time, I was thoroughly entertained, and felt the need to chime in, because hey…if someone is going to self-promote, why not let it be me, because I have a new website to promote AND I hate pearl clutching.
@aedison @pattonoswalt You made a joke about prison in your profile. As someone who has a number of family members in the can, I’m offended.
— Uncle Shimbo (@NeverDauntedNet) May 7, 2014
Now, like many others, I was pretty pleased that I was being retweeted by Oswalt, and I took it as a tip of the cap to what I said. Soon enough, the Pearl Clutching police came for me too:
@NeverDauntedNet @pattonoswalt @aedison That was less a joke and more that she was legit thrown into a men’s prison for immigration issues.
— Sara V. Byrella (@ultrapeanut) May 7, 2014
.@NeverDauntedNet @pattonoswalt @aedison “LOL OTHERS’ SUFFERING IS HILARIOUS AND I’M SUPER SUBVERSIVE FOR REVELING IN IT!” – awful people
— Sara V. Byrella (@ultrapeanut) May 7, 2014
@NeverDauntedNet @aedison @pattonoswalt Seeing as how Avery was recently thrown in jail for her gender identity, you can probably stand down
— Dave Fetterman (@fetterdave) May 7, 2014
There were actually others, but it looks like a number have deleted their tweets, which is cool, because that doesn’t completely provide a certain amount of irony that comes from being offended over pretty much nothing.
It seems like today, people are conditioned to be offended. A hair trigger has been installed into the collective consciousness, and now every group is not only protected, but also immune from pretty much anything that is even a little reminiscent of being considered offensive. If the great Don Rickles had gotten his start today, he’d be shunned and shamed into silence.
As a person of color myself, as someone in one of the “protected” groups, I understand and stand behind certain boundaries, but I also realize that while not everything is a joke, somethings are, most importantly people’s innate ability to get upset about just about everything. If Patton Oswalt is to be applauded for anything, it’s being able to peel back the layers of our own bullshit, even if some of us just aren’t ready to take a breath and relax, which they should.
Not every day has to be a battle, especially where there isn’t a fight to actually be had.