Life stinks, why not screw on the Lord’s front lawn?
Most wedding days are lovely scenes filled with images of friends, family, flowers and a couple in love (unless she’s knocked up and it’s Marriage by Shotgun).
However, the last thing one couple getting married in a Catholic church in Salt Lake City this past Saturday expected to see was the conjugation of a second couple going to the chapel on each other right on the church’s lawn.
According to police, Wilson Benally, 56, was caught the with “his tongue and finger inside of [ 60 year-old Sandra Kruser’s] vagina.” A wedding-goer was so shocked (read: completely and utterly disgusted), she ran out into the street to stop the first cop to pass by. Lucky for her (and society), Officer Rich Stone pulled over to catch the couple in the middle of their outdoor prayer session.
“I walked over to the couple and I physically saw the sex act,” Stone said, adding that Benally pretty much had his hands and mouth full at the moment. After ordering the couple to stop, Officer Stone had to pry them apart after they refused. According to the police report, no less than four children from the wedding had their childhoods permanently scarred from witnessing the sex act.
Naturally, Kruser and Benally were arrested for gross lewdness and public intoxication; Benally was also charged with criminal trespass. Both are being held on bond that by the looks of them, they have no possible means of paying.
It shouldn’t serve as a surprise, but this isn’t their first rodeo, as jail records show that Benally has been booked 102 times into the Salt Lake lockup, while Kruser has been there on 15 separate occasions.
Look at the people in that picture. They’re getting more action than me, and frankly, it’s heartbreaking. More importantly, look at that woman’s hair. If the drapes are that greasy, just imagine how funky the carpet is.
Enjoy your lunch.