The Infantilization of Janay Rice

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According to the Court of Public Opinion, everyone knows what’s best for Janay Rice except for Janay Rice herself.

by Shimbo

Yesterday, as the Outrage Addicts of America wanted to shield Janay Rice from the pain of the seeing the video showing former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice knocking her out, resulting in the termination of her husband’s contract and subsequent indefinite suspension from the NFL, no one stopped to ask what Janay’s feelings on the subject happened to be.

For all the sturm und drang of a nation (rightly) appalled that the NFL could levy such a light punishment after seeing Janay’s limp body splayed across the floor of that elevator, there wasn’t much asked about how things are now between the couple, or what progress they’ve made in the months since the incident. All that mattered was that action must be taken immediately. If the Ravens didn’t terminate Ray Rice right away, it would be a great injustice to the public at large, and women everywhere.

Of course, no one asked Janay what effect of this great social justice would have on her life today. Well, this morning, Janay shared her feelings with the world, via Instagram:

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Now that she’s voicing her pain in the wake of the video released by TMZ, those same people now refuse to shield her from criticism. Suffice it to say, the same people willing to stand up for her are now going out of their way to dismiss her concerns

Certainly, there are many other examples showing just how people believe that their outrage far exceeds Janay’s feelings. So much so that anything she says other than, “I’m leaving my husband” would be looked upon as a defect on her part. By doing this, those who would support her as a battered woman are infantilizing her as an individual. Through their criticisms and dismissals, they are complicit in denying her the very voice many of them believe she’s being denied.

Yes, it is true that victims of domestic abuse often side with their attackers. The practice is known in abuse prevention circles as Stockholm Syndrome. However, to shrug off Janay’s support only as a symptom of abuse marginalizes any strides her and her husband may have made in the wake of the attack, months later. Seeing the brutality of the video fairly casts shade on any possibility of reformation on the side of Ray Rice, but human nature being as complicated as it is, it does not eliminate the possibility that this one incident, grave though it is, cannot be rectified.

As a flagrant abuser, Rice deserved punishment, make no mistake. One cannot inflict that level of abuse on someone, particularly a woman, without reprisal. That the court system and the NFL completely botched that punishment is more a reflection on them than it is on the Rices. That the villagers hoisted their torches and pitchforks, demanding further punishment on Rice, while disregarding the feelings of Janay is absolutely more a reflection on the selective outrage of the public than it is on the Rices.

At what point are they allowed to pick up the pieces of their own shattered lives? How much punishment is enough for the public at large? For the outraged masses, the incident is new and fresh, due to the release of the video. It doesn’t matter what happened in the days, weeks and months after the incident. No one seems to have any concern towards the healing of this relationship. When it comes to abuse, one size cannot possibly fit all. Not every story begins and ends in the same fashion. if every individual who ever committed a wrong is doomed to a life as a loathsome monster, why bother working to fix anything? Why not shoot Ray Rice dead in the street (with full camera coverage, mind you)?

Some people do not deserve the benefit of the doubt, and this is not about the salvation of Ray Rice, that’s not the point at all. What is the point is the treatment of Janay Rice, the true victim. Although she is a victim, it is a crime to consider her as only a victim. Regardless of what some believe, no one, but no one, has the right to judge this woman for how she feels and what she believes. To do so is to hold her down and subjugate her as bad as, if not worse than any abuser. You don’t have to agree with her, you don’t even have to like her, but if you pretend to care about her plight as a victim of abuse, then you must respect her, lest your concern for her come off as bullshit posturing.

The truth is, most people could care less about Janay Rice as a person. She, and her situation, are only bullets in the gun of selective outrage. In time, most won’t even remember her name, and if the marriage between her and Ray Rice actually stands the test of time, without any further abuse, no one will be around to celebrate that, not even a little bit.

By that day, if it ever comes, people will move on to new outrages, levying their demands without knowing all the facts. For them, all that matters is how they feel at the moment, and when their bloodlust is satiated, they’ll move on again.

And so it goes…

Hashim R. Hathaway (Uncle Shimbo) is the host of the Never Daunted Radio Network, and proud father to NeverDaunted.Net. You can reach him on Twitter @NeverDauntedNet

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