Unfortunately, natural selection doesn’t have call waiting
A Chinese family gives the term “Up Shit Creek” a whole new meaning as a woman in Xinxiang City dropped her brand new cell phone when she went to an open-pit toilet, which was directly connected to a cesspit.
What unfolded next seemed to be a real life demonstration of what it’s like to be a lemming. First, and probably because he didn’t want to hear mouth or shell out another 2,000 yuan (around $320), the woman’s husband jumped in after the phone.
Unfortunately for him, he was overcome by the fumes emitted by all the human waste in the pit, passing out almost immediately. Next, the husband’s mother jumped in. Not surprisingly, mom passed out as she encountered breathing difficulties. After seeing her husband and mother-in-law passed out in the pool of poop, the woman who dropped the phone in the first place also jumped in, and guess what?
She passed out too. Imagine that.
Upon seeing most of his family knocked out in the cesspit, the father-in-law went to call for help, which was, on the surface probably the smartest move all day, that is, until help arrived, at which point, he went into the cesspit, and whaddya know? He passed out too.
Long story long, a couple more neighbors, who probably thought that they knew something the other four passed lodgers at Chateau de Turd didn’t know also jumped in, raising the total of lemmings to six.
Finally, someone with just enough brains decided maybe they should use a rope to get the people out of the cesspit, eventually recovering all six people, but unfortunately, the phone itself was lost.
Sadly, the husband and mother-in-law died, while the woman, father-in-law and a neighbor managed to survive. The father-in-law was also injured. Witnesses said the victims were in the shit pit for no more than five minutes, but since no ambulance showed up on the scene for over an hour, the delay probably contributed to the deaths of the husband and his mom.
The woman and her husband had a one-year-old son, who will probably live in fear of technology for the rest of his natural life.
Ironically, the waste that nearly killed six people was barely knee-high.
So what can we take from this situation? Probably a number of things, such as “use real toilets” or “don’t shit and talk”. However, in the end, maybe the most important takeaway from this tragedy is to always look before you leap.