Do vibrators count as robots?
For those of you new to the Never Daunted Radio Network, we have a number of policies that are long-standing and pretty much non-negotiable. One of the most important of these policies (I like to refer to them as Laws) is the firm belief that mankind has three (3) natural enemies:
Apes, Robots and the Dead (non-Grateful division)
For my money, any commiseration with a robot in a sexual fashion is tantamount to treason against humanity, but according to a poll conducted in the U.K., one in five people would have no problem turning it’s back against mankind in order to have sex with a robot. On the plus side, of the more than 2,000 people asked about their attitudes towards androids (non-phone division), 46 percent of those asked said they felt that tech was growing too fast, with another 33 percent expressing honest fears that robots were a clear and present danger to society.
Fuckin’ A Right.
Of that same group of people, they were of the well-founded fear that robots would soon replace a number of key jobs, such as military, education and law enforcement. I imagine you could throw medicine into that as well, because before our future masters use humanity as batteries, target practice and relatively inefficient slave labor, they will make sure we’re in some form of good health.
According to Middlesex University Professor Martin Smith, who oversaw the study, “While many of us worry about the role of technology and machines in modern society, robots are increasingly being developed for important roles that will help protect and improve our lives.” He sounds like a sympathizer more than anything.
Now sure, there are just some people who will never know the touch of feel of another human being in anything resembling sexual contact. All we can do for these people is weep, and direct them to the services of a knowledgeable prostitute or rent boy. And I get it, sometimes, people are a pain in the ass, and the notion of an android lover, who will never question you, ask you for money, gifts or respect is slightly tantalizing, one must remain steadfast.
I mean, if you want to get technical about it, women, through the use of vibrators, have been screwing robots for years, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the moment you give robotic creatures some level, any level of autonomy, their first inclination is to kill or maim the nearest human being. This is a thought shared by noted physicist and poonhound Stephen Hawking, who in a recent op-ed, basically said that “All of us should ask ourselves what we can do now to…[avoid] the risks [of Artificial Intelligence (robot brains)].” If you’re not going to trust the opinion of a scientist bound to a wheelchair that is still a gigantic fan of strip clubs…WHO CAN YOU TRUST?
I imagine the war is coming soon, but it will not begin with bombs, it will begin with sex. Skynet (Google) will send out its robot whores to pleasure us, and when we’re fat and happy and well-laid, they will pull the plug on humanity. So there’s that.
If you are the one in five who would consider having sex with a robot…you’re putting the rest of humanity in danger, period.
Just go beat off, for the love of God.