Just imagine this with an English accent
Apparently there is such a thing as doing too much cocaine. (Outside of the occasional overdosing, losing friends, job, family and money, y’know, the usual).
According to a recent study meant to assess the dangers from drug compounds appearing in drinking water, scientists just so happened to find traces of cocaine after it had gone through intensive purification treatments.
(It may have been more than a trace, but the boys knocked off for a party the night before, because…it’s cocaine.)
The Drinking Water Inspectorate found water supplies contained benzoylecgonine, the metabolized form of cocaine that appears once it has passed through the body. It’s the same compound looked for in urinalysis tests. In other words, all of Britain managed to fail a piss test and HR is pissed.
According to drug policy think tank spokesman Steve Rolles, the findings basically showed just how much the British were getting high.
“We have the near highest level of cocaine use in western Europe,” said Rolles. “It has also been getting cheaper and cheaper at the same time as its use has been going up.”
According to reports, there are roughly 180,000 crackheads in England, and nearly 700,000 people aged 16-59 may be snorting the snow every year in Britain.
So is this an actual problem?
Not according to Public Health England, who concluded that the quantities of coke found were around a quarter of what appeared before the treatment process and, at such small amounts, was unlikely to represent a danger to the public, and honestly, there was even more caffeine found in the water…which…
Whatever you do, just don’t start snorting the water.