Get This Man a Kickstarter Immediately: Australian Man Needs Surgery to Save His Inverted Penis From His Watermelon-Sized Scrotum

If you're having a day worse than this poor bastard, chances are, you just died.

If you’re having a day worse than this poor bastard, chances are, you just died.

Often when you find yourself going through a tough time or bitter inconvenience, there’s usually some jagoff ready to tell you that there’s always someone out there having it worse than you, half heartedly trying to console you with the sort of condescending smug look on their face that you have to fight the urge to wipe off with a sledgehammer.

Well…I think we finally found that someone people seem to be talking about, and his name is Tyrone Bowd.

Tyrone is a 24-year-old man from Australia who suffers from a rare condition that would make even the strongest of men weep tears of absolute sorrow. The disease he suffers from is known as scrotal lymphoedema, which makes his scrotum swell to a grotesque size, growing bigger than a watermelon and reaching down to his knees.

Technically, Tyrone’s nutsack is so big, he could theoretically hide a small child inside of it, not that we’re suggesting that’s something any reasonable person would do, mind you. As a result of his massive ballbag, Tyrone also suffers from Inverted Penis Syndrome, which, let’s be honest, is like putting salt on a gaping wound.

Scrotal lymphoedema can have serious consequences outside of making someone a social pariah. Sufferers can look forward to having tremendous difficulty doing regular things such as taking a proper piss, or riding a bike, or even walking without pain. If untreated for a long period of time, the condition can cause infections which can raise body temperature and heart rate, potentially leading to heart attack or stroke.

Tyrone and his mother Tanya Boyd are attempting to raise $100,000 so he can fly to the United States and have life-saving surgery. So far, according to The Australian, they have collected nearly $6,000. The goal is to have Tyrone seen by Dr. Joel Gelman, a surgeon at The Center For Reconstructive Urology, who has extensive experience and success at chopping away giant ballbags.

Even though socialized medicine exists in Australia, they are forced to seek outside help due to the seemingly inept physicians Tyrone and his mother have consulted to this point.

“As a mother the last 12 months have been emotional. I can’t sleep and I’m always doing research about how to help my son,” said Tonya. “One response I got was they could give him a sex change but couldn’t repair his scrotum so I basically threw my hands in the air.”

Wow.

If there’s anyone who deserves to have a Kickstarter created in his honor, it would be Tyrone. Not only does he have to struggle with a giant scrotum, he hasn’t even seen his own penis at any point during his adult life and his mother is talking about his cock and balls on pretty much every newscast willing to listen to the story. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he also suffers from autism. This poor kid can’t even catch a break.

For Tyrone Boyd, each day is a waiting game where he looks forward to the day he can sit down on his ass and not on his balls. With a little help, he’ll soon be able to masturbate without having to use a GPS device.

Good luck, and godspeed, Ty!

 

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